Copper Acorn

I have been having nightmares. Only it’s during the day and the images I’m seeing I’ve seen in a movie. About 7 months ago a couple friends shared at our college group about social injustice and the need for people to stand and come against this system. Wonderful night full of statistics, scriptures and pictures. I tend to be a VERY visual person, so when the pictures came up of abused children, remember that I’m 9 months pregnant and feeling very motherly, I tried very hard to separate myself from an overwhelming flood of emotions. I was trying to keep it together throughout the night, and was doing okay. That is, until they showed a clip from a movie. I will not go into it because it was very…aggressively offensive. And PLEASE hear me now- I have no ill feelings towards these friends of mine. I know they wanted to shock us into the reality of what the world is truly like outside of our Starbucks and church life. Only it was SO gruesome and showed 3 year old girls in brothels being prostituted and I lost it inside. I shut my eyes but my ears were still working unfortunately and thank goodness it was in a different language, however the overall evil-ness was portrayed even though I don’t speak whatever Eastern country it was.
So as I said above- I’ve been having nightmares, only during the day and the images are from a movie I saw. Only a short clip really, yet 10 sec. would have been enough. Okay so to continue, the following months after seeing this I had a baby girl. She is, as you’ve seen in past posts, the most precious girl I’ve ever seen and so happy. My life thus revolved around her needs and whims. It was bliss. It all stopped when those images began to come to the surface, rear it’s nasty little head at me and snarl. And as I have seen those…actors really of the 3 year olds, I have not only harbored hate towards the people who abuse these Innocent children/women, I have protected this new found emotion with apathy. I told a friend yesterday over coffee that I don’t care if I go to heaven with this hate and the last thing these people deserve is Jesus. For the first time I know what it’s like to hate and I feel it’s completely justified. The abusers know what they’re doing and thus deserve no mercy. I want them to face a death so gruesome and horrible…then go to hell where they will be tortured even more. *breath in and out Alexis…..
Now that you are up to date on the past few months with me, I must tell you about my last night. We went to church and heard our old pastor talk about bitterness and how the enemy will shock you with something and then plant the fast growing weed called bitterness. It was wonderful and was even able to hear the majority of the sermon before being paged that Emma needed me. I told God that He can have my hate, but I didn’t know what I should do then. I heard Him tell me to be active in this. So last night I went on the Internet and found a website that fights child trafficking and child/women prostitution.
The depression which had been over me began to lift as I saw myself as a fighter rather than a hater.
God,
Please remind me to give you the anger and rage when these feelings begin to rise in me. I love you and even though I still don’t think those people deserve You…You’re ways are not my ways nor Your thoughts my thoughts. I love you and pray that you help me heal this wound. Amen.

This past weekend our family (holy crap I have my own family!) went to Port Angeles to visit my Oma and Opa, it was his 84th birthday. They had not seen Emma either so it was a double treat.
Wow were there were times when I watched my family interact and saw it as crazy-ness.
Whoever had either the loudest voice or strongest opinion was the one whom everyone listened to. There was not such a thing as a quiet moment this past weekend. My Oma made all my favorite dishes and I ate like a horse; the bad thing is that I watched her make all the food so now I can make them myself! I would love to make dinner for whomever and use them as my ‘Ginny pig taster’…:)
Even though it took a little more than 5 hours to get there, the mattress kept leaking air and Emma had a hard time relaxing, we had a blast! As we were leaving I was ‘helping’ Travis put things in the car and Trav made the observation, “You just sounded like your Oma!” and I smiled and said ‘thank you’.
I’m not sure it was a compliment though…
As we pulled into our garage Trav and I breathed a sigh- there is nothing like coming home.
And because I didn’t have to make one meal, clean one plate or even change all of Emma’s diapers- today I cleaned the house from top to bottom. It’s amazing how recharged I feel.
Tonight’s agenda?- watch P.S. I Love You and eat left overs my Oma sent back with us.

…..And roast marsh mellows over candles 🙂 Nothing beats smores. …well perhaps chocolate fondue.

Quinn,
Greetings from Bataglia! The people here are kind, accepting and are in great need of encouragement.I will do my best, but as we both know- that will not be enough. This town needs better defenses and warriors who will stand up against the evil with which they war against.
For such a beautiful place, it is amazing to think of how many wars have been fought on this ground. I can almost see the tint of red in the soil…
It has always confused me to why the enemy makes their strongholds in the most beautiful of places. It reminds me of when Yeshua was tempted and was shown all the desirable lands.
Great everyone for me and take a stroll among the willows for me.

Through Him who Reigns,

Lexa

Today, as I drove home from a friends house at 9:30 am, God gave me a glimpse of my favorite season. Autumn. For those of you who love the summer and aren’t happy with this seasons weather stop reading and look into a past post.

While driving home I put on the jazz station and heard it compete with the sounds of rain pattering on our sunroof. I even indulged myself in turning on the heated seats! In that moment I was able to truly believe it was fall. I wanted to go pick pumpkins, drink hot spiced cider or hot chai’s and write a short story. The snugly feeling that I’ve spoken of before was there and I wrapped myself in it tightly. It was so wonderful and I promised myself that I would blog about it.
What is your favorite season?