1 After Jesus had finished teaching the people, he went to Capernaum. 2 In that town an army officer’s servant was sick and about to die. The officer liked this servant very much. 3 And when he heard about Jesus, he sent some Jewish leaders to ask him to come and heal the servant.

4 The leaders went to Jesus and begged him to do something. They said, “This man deserves your help!5 He loves our nation and even built us a meeting place.”

6 So Jesus went with them.
When Jesus wasn’t far from the house, the officer sent some friends to tell him, “Lord, don’t go to any trouble for me! I am not good enough for you to come into my house.
7 And I am certainly not worthy to come to you. Just say the word, and my servant will get well. 8 I have officers who give orders to me, and I have soldiers who take orders from me. I can say to one of them, ‘Go!’ and he goes. I can say to another, ‘Come!’ and he comes. I can say to my servant, ‘Do this!’ and he will do it.”

9 When Jesus heard this, he was so surprised that he turned and said to the crowd following him, “In all of Israel I’ve never found anyone with this much faith!”

10 The officer’s friends returned and found the servant well.


Some thoughts on this passage I read today:

Seems like the leaders came to Jesus qualifying why this Roman officer deserved help. (ie helping make a building for them) And He went regardless of their heart situation. But when the officer’s servants came to give another message, it portrayed such respect. But what hit me most was the kingdom mindset the officer had and was living in. It even surprised Jesus! (according to the bible)

How often do I come to God with the mindset that I have to qualify everything…too often. WAY too often. I want that kingdom mentality that understands the power of His words and that if He declares something- then it will happen. I don’t have to worry about qualifying myself before God can move.

God, would you remind me of this passage and the talk You and I had about it. I want your truths to bury themselves deep in my heart.

Women’s group

I went to a women’s group at my church, and it felt good to be with the women I had grown to love last year while I was apart of it. Familiar faces and awkward ‘Get to know eachother’ games…it’s all apart of the experience. 🙂

Anyhoo, I wanted to write quickly about something we talked about. In the beginning of the book of James, he challenges us to consider it pure joy to go through trials of many kinds. James is my favorite book and has been for my whole life. I have read that before but didn’t know how to make it applicable to my life today. While it sounds simple, it’s hard to live out!

We talked about when we go through hard trials/times/seasons we have many choices. To be angry is a popular choice, and so is chosing to close down to the world around you. However, James tells us that a choice we should be making is JOY. We should choose to be joyful in the hard seasons of our lives to develop the character necessary to show Gods love to others.

There is always the other side of the coin and one could say that someone could choose joy too much and be disillusioned to the realities surrounding them. There are always two sides to everything and keeping it all in tension is the struggle called humanity…yes we/I will be closer to one side and the other another day, but what I think is most important is choosing to make the choice to take JOY and trudge through whatever season God has you/me in.

Brain stop!

I am suppose to be in REM sleep. Not listening to the light rail pass my home at 12:40am. Darn you brain! Love you imagination and creativity but could you work when the sun is in the sky?! Pleeeease?! This is not working when I have a daughter who wakes up too early for my body that desires 10 hrs each night.

(but never gets that, don’t worry and be all jealous- there’s no need)


I bought an aloe plant today and I’m super excited. I feel like a secret nurse. You know, the naturalistic ones that can go out into a field and cure cancer with roots, leaves and sap. Oh yeah, feeling smug. Thank you Ikea. I bet you never knew the power you had over moms who are extremely fatigued, sit during the wee hours of the morning typing on their blog and have have too much imagination on their hands. It must be our, er I mean their daily inundated “Imagination” programing with horrible programs like Barney and Teletubbies. Again, not me, it’s rumors I hear through the church halls.


On a serious note, I’m off to bed again praying my mind will slow down and rest. I’ve prayed about and over anything I can think of. I’ve gone over today’s and tomorrow’s events. I have also decided to do another give away- it’s been like forever. Almost 1am… what is it about the we hours that make me want to watch either Sleepless in Seattle (cruelly ironic) or Bridget Jones Diaries. As it is, I’m going to ignore the stupid crossing bells announcing to nobody (cause everyone’s asleep) that a train is coming and snuggle myself into bed. Maybe 1 am is the special time my body has been waiting for.

Interpersonal Thoughts

God has recently shown me areas where I desperately need His help and especially His healing hand. In a sick way, I feel real and normal. I guess I can express it in some ways like this:

Change will always come and sit with me and what I need to decide is how to respond. I can resist, be hurt or I can grapple with what needs to change in me and forge ahead.

In regards to my healing, Ripping off a band aid always stings…and I hate it when it stick to the hair on my arms. Ouch. Yet sometimes, air needs to dry it out.


These areas in myself are always in my thoughts and I struggle with either pulling them too close and drowning in my own self inflicted pain OR push them away and live in denial. Not a good thing either.  Many people at our church would call that a double bind. Damed if you do, damned if you don’t. Besides, having these areas of insecurity, hurt, ect. doesn’t allow me to give all of myself to the people God has called me to. The last thing I want to be is egocentric.  So, which is the better for me… and also others?…kinda an obvious answer. I think it’s time I rip off bandages that, as a young child, I have camouflaged as part of my skin. The reality is that my wounds are in fact infecting my body and hurting those closest to me.

I am also writing this to give me some  ‘umph’ to join a group we have at church. It’s called Tangled Relationships. I hope to enjoy it and have this help me in some well… relational areas. Duh. haha

I think this is why I so desire Spring. The time for new growth and breaking new ground.


* If you don’t know me by now, you need to know I struggle with being way too compartmental. Had to say that before switching subjects so quickly from something deep and emotional for me to something seemingly shallow.

March 3rd was National Peanut Butter Lover’s Day. I LOVE peanut butter (thank goodness they have it in Krakow!! Woot woot!) and even though I didn’t celebrate it on it’s due day…I will be celebrating tomorrow. 🙂 By making tons of treats, PB&J for lunch also a Thai Peanut Chicken dish. 🙂 Pictures to follow, of course, and I also hope to draft a couple blogging friends to do it with me. We’ll see how it goes with such short notice.

Peace out my peeps!

My Shield

God has been showing me something new. And He’s so nice too, because I can be a little…stubborn at times and focused on other things. But there He is always smiling and waiting to tell me something. He’s the nicest person I know.

Anyhoo, as I was saying, he has been showing me myself. There is this piece to me that I thought was safe. I thought I was safe from being hard hearted. (For those who know me, this is kinda funny.) But just recently an instance arose and I was faced with the decision to harden my heart towards this person. I knew what I must do but it was so hard! It was then He showed me He wanted to be that shield protecting my heart from hardening and allowing bitterness to grow. I was actually happy and shocked that I was hurt because I thought that door was shut towards that person. But as I was feeling emotions, I was happily aware that I had friendly feelings and love towards them.

I never want to let go of that love for that person or anybody for that matter. I want a soft fleshy heart that beats for others. And with God’s help I will. 🙂

Stone Heart