I have been a Christian for my whole life basically, and one of the pillars you learn is to journal every day. It is usually about what you read about in the Bible or what God has taught you that day or whatever. I truly believe it is one of the most important principals we should follow, but I realized something about how I journal…
I was sitting at church during our college group and a girl was speaking about what she learned this past year. Some of it was silly but most had quite a bit of wisdom. It was during this message, that she spoke about quiet times and journaling. She said she observed that as she read this past years journal, she read a ton about her…but not much about Jesus. I realized I am the same way- I might talk about the struggles I am going through, or maybe the gifts God has given me or the words spoken to me about whatever…me, me, me. I hate it- and I can’t believe it has taken this long to realize it. And this…realization, has leaked into other parts of my life. For example praying. I pray a lot about me or others and not so much about the wonders of Christ or the mysteries. Instead I find myself thanking God for loving me… and that is good, don’t get me wrong. One might want to reevaluate their prayer life when it is the majority of what one might be praying. Why do we not love to pray about the awesomeness of God?
I am shocked daily at how selfish I am and am learning how to pray for it. I now, ask God for forgiveness for my selfishness, ask God to grow humbleness in this area of my life and then begin to praise Him. The bible says that whatever we ask of Him will be answered- as long as it correlates with His will. I then might sing a worship song or two, but then I have to let it go. I have to force myself to not beat myself up over anything or continue to complain to God about how horrible I am…and talk His ears off for sure! So, if you want to call it one, my new years resolution is to maintain my focus on Jesus and, more specifically, write in my journal 80% of the goodness of Christ and the 20% of me.
Mary the Mother of Jesus
I am to do a signing/dancing thing this weekend for our church Christmas Eve service. It is a huge honor to be asked, yet I find that since many people will be inpacted by my performance- I am constantly under the enemy’s fire. And last night I felt like I should be reading about Mary, seeing that I’m being her this weekend. So I read a passage out of Luke this morning and was encouraged. She was a very strong and faithful woman. I can only pray that I do a great job and truely show her resilience. You all will be able to see the service on the internet on the church’s website. www.Easthill.org That’s me dancing!
Working is wonderful
I am sitting at a little cafe drinking a coffee waiting to start work, which is about 200 meters away. It has turned cold outside, frost is everywhere and the roads are slippery with little ice which was left from our storm last Thursday. It feels good to get ready for a job and leave to do work. I found that I need to work. It’s wierd, I thought I would be happy staying at home doing ‘wife’ duties…boy was I wrong. I don’t mind doing the ‘duties’ and I love being a wife, but I found I need to get out of the house so I don’t go insane. I would love a car too, that way it doesn’t feel like I’m under house arrest. 🙂 MERRY CHIRSTMAS EVERYONE!
Procrastination
Why is it that when you have things to do, you all of a sudden keep yourself busy with meaningless things? For example, I have right now about 3 loads of laundry to be done, dinner made, I need to call and track down specific people to make them commit to a dinner, reply to e-mails and do quiet time. Yet I now find myself sitting on our couch looking through the internet and then eventually blogging. All this after I watched my TV show-red dragon on toon disney. Is that not stupidly rediculous? I need to get off my butt and do those things needing to be done. Is it only me or do you sometimes feel more like lounging instead of working? My procrastination could have something to do with going up and down the stairs too… oh and why this picture? Because it is the funniest most expressive pictures of both Travis and I. I love it and hope you do too. 🙂
Disapointment to Faith
I recieved bad news this last Thursday. My friend/fellow jewelry maker took a load of our creations to her old work, a hospital. They have always been really nice and excited to see us… and they buying a lot of our stuff! However, this last time she went, she was told by her old supervisor that we are no longer able to sell at the hospital because of new rules with soliciting. We were crushed! We were also told that in the far future, we might also not be able to sell at a salon stand we have our pieces at. And actually, with that one, none of the hair stylists will be able to keep any jewelry they are selling-at least it isn’t just us!
It was funny, once we heard the news we immediately started to encourage eachother even though it was clear that each of us were individualy shaken. So, now we are focusing on the HUGE jewelry party we are throwing in January with complimentary pedicures! It is easy to feel discouraged each day because I have a lot of time on my hands and would love to be making things to sell. I mean come on- it’s the Christmas season! This is the season to be selling ANYTHING if you make something. Well, I guess I will totaly have to put all my eggs in God’s basket…because what we are trying to do is not working.
High Priest
I found myself reading a familiar book but reading an unfamiliar chapter. I couldn’t remember ever coming across it, which was about priests. In Hebrews chapter 7, Paul writes about priests and I found myself blown away by the consistant ‘that makes sense’ thoughts he was writing. It was about how the old law was not being followed (because of human sin) and God making a new and permenant law. It only required one sacrifice and a priest who will not die. I know, sounds wierd uh. 🙂 But that’s what happend, Jesus died for our sins (the one sacrifice) and he is now the holy priest who sits next to God (thus He never dies) and speaks up for us.
I had known all this, but very shallowly. I grew up in the church and didn’t get the depth of what all this meant. Well, one layer off and hopefully another tomorrow thus making me a mature Christian, loving today and hoping for tomorrow.
Performance Based Mentality
The performance based mentality totally sucks. For example : we are having our small group at our house this Sunday, I immediately thought of all the food I ‘should’ make and all the cleaning I ‘should’ do, and … it totally sucks!
As a kid, I remember having people over to our house and my mom freaking out making all of us do a massive cleaning of our home. I think that is the root of my performance mentality, and although I see it as a thing my mom brought me up with-it does not mean I have to live with that mentality. Ironically, when I go to another’s house and I see the messiness around; it makes me feel more comfortable. Weird. I want to break out of the chains I was put in and show the freedom I have. Therefore, I think I will start breaking out of my performance chains by not do the things I ‘should’ do for the small group this Sunday. Oh, hurrah!
God,
Let me see where in my life I act on my performance based mentality and see how easy and simple life is. I do not want to compete with other women…it is exhausting. I love you and just want to make you proud. I love you and thank you for never giving up on me.
Alexis
Quick Update
My dad is coming for the weekend and that meant me spending hours cleaning and reorganizing my spare bedroom. It was fun in one sense because it is also my craft room, so I got to organize all my fun creative things. However, I realized that just moving in, we do not have aheets for the bed! None the less, I found out today that they are renting a hotel room so it all works out.
Bead Society’s
I have just spent who knows how much time looking at Jewelry blogs and they are awesome. Did you know that there is a Portland Bead Society? Maybe you already do, but I am still a beginner and a new world is opening itself to me and I love it! There is some freaky-deeky pieces of jewelry to see but there are some cool pieces as well. Take a look, simply google jewelry and you will find a huge aray of sites. Happy searching!
Oh I also forgot to say that I have learned how to ‘weave’. The bracelets do not sell as well, but they look cool and it takes a whole lot more time. I am getting into the chunky large beads sadly…
Visitors and more Jewelry
I’m sitting in a chair in our living room and the sun is shining through the windows helping me stay warm. 🙂 Yesterday Travis and I invited a couple we were looking forward to get to know better, however at the last moment they took a raincheck because of their baby boy. Although I was really disapointed we were still able to have people over. Travis and I called and some friends who are in college who were able to hang out. It was wonderful having people in our home and to play hostess. I don’t know where it comes from or why we women like it, but playing hostess is fun. Near the end we looked at some wedding pictures of ours on our T.V. and then talked. It was wonderful having them all here.
On a different subject I spent some time making two bracelts and a dark purple amythist knecklace this morning. I hope to have them on ebay soon. You could pray for the jewelry thing to start up. I am frustrated and ready to start our jewelry bussiness. I want to see people’s faces light up when they see our creations. Each piece we make is a one of a kind and no creation is duplicated so what they are getting is a one of a kind piece of jewelry. I love making them- pray that I am able to sell enough to do it as a job. Thanks!