Recently I’ve been fighting the common parenting voice of doubt. Am I really doing all I can for my kids? Are they all feeling loved in each of their own unique ways? Am I parenting ok? Are they feeling supported and cherished? And, amongst all the questions I have swirling in my mind, the most common one is, ‘does my middle child feel neglected?’. Do they feel like I spend more time with their other siblings and only give them the left overs? You know- the stereotypical box that people put middle children- which means that the middle child ends up with the left overs of mom and dad’s attention, second hand clothes, and tired parents. Basically the short end of the stick.
Not being a middle child myself, I never had to worry about not having enough of my parents attention. However, now I’m fighting those voices leaving myself concerned that I’m not doing everything right or giving enough. I want so much to parent right- which probably means I AM doing something right. lol All of that to say that I know my kids are happy, healthy and know mom and dad love them. I know (head knowledge) that I’m doing a lot for them. Not things like making dinner but reading to them, making forts in the living room and baking together.
I hate this second guessing game that , I will generalize in saying that most parents have to fight. Yet, I find peace when I think about putting my fears and concerns for my kids to God. Knowing that I will do my best to parent and love on them and that He’ll do the other 90% to make them into an incredible human that will touch the world. It feels, inside, a first like a spinning compass. Spinning out of control not knowing where to go. I started this post off with some of those questions. Yet when I talk with Jesus and talk, give control and take a deep breath – I feel like that compass is redirected and is pointing north. To where I should go and what I should say, do whatever with my kids.
First, I’m writing this because it helps myself process, hehe, but also I’m hopeful that some of you would find encouragement in my journey towards parenting. That you might relate and that we would all receive a breath of fresh air.
You’re a rock star parent. I’m a rock star parent, and we’re doing a good job- be encouraged friend.