I failed today. This morning I was trying to hurry my 3 yr old (which is an oxymoron) and to make a long drawn out story short- I lost my patience. I raised my voice. There were punishments for her attitude/choices which just made me feel more stressed.
And all for an appointment that NEVER HAPPENED! If I had taken the 10 seconds it takes to check my phone I would have seen the text. But no, I hurried my Emma to church, which she started to cry as I dropped her off. That never happens. Usually she never looks back to say bye. Hard morning.
I drove to this appointment (which, again, had been canceled- argh!) feeling horrible. And as I was talking to God about it all, I was realizing that I was justifying my actions because of her attitude and choices. How mature. Let’s compare ourselves to a pre-schooler!
I then asked myself why I was feeling horrible, and I realized that my actions this morning was not out of love, but out of frustration, impatience and stress. I did a lot of reacting. Not much thinking. I actually felt a lot better after identifying my feelings and the action steps after was not too hard to come up with.
When I picked Emma up (who hugged me so tight it hurt my heart), I took her to a quiet secluded place and recounted this morning to her. I told her I was sorry for yelling and my attitude was not good. I said that Jesus and I talked and I apologized to her. She smiled and said she forgave me. Then we kissed and hugged.
We also have snuggled a lot today. Both of us wanting to heal the hurt that was this morning.
So that’s how I’m doing today. You?