I failed today. This morning I was trying to hurry my 3 yr old (which is an oxymoron) and to make a long drawn out story short- I lost my patience. I raised my voice. There were punishments for her attitude/choices which just made me feel more stressed.
And all for an appointment that NEVER HAPPENED! If I had taken the 10 seconds it takes to check my phone I would have seen the text. But no, I hurried my Emma to church, which she started to cry as I dropped her off. That never happens. Usually she never looks back to say bye. Hard morning.
I drove to this appointment (which, again, had been canceled- argh!) feeling horrible. And as I was talking to God about it all, I was realizing that I was justifying my actions because of her attitude and choices. How mature. Let’s compare ourselves to a pre-schooler!
I then asked myself why I was feeling horrible, and I realized that my actions this morning was not out of love, but out of frustration, impatience and stress. I did a lot of reacting. Not much thinking. I actually felt a lot better after identifying my feelings and the action steps after was not too hard to come up with.
When I picked Emma up (who hugged me so tight it hurt my heart), I took her to a quiet secluded place and recounted this morning to her. I told her I was sorry for yelling and my attitude was not good. I said that Jesus and I talked and I apologized to her. She smiled and said she forgave me. Then we kissed and hugged.
We also have snuggled a lot today. Both of us wanting to heal the hurt that was this morning.
So that’s how I’m doing today. You?
ach my friend, thank you for sharing. That must have been hard but so awesome that you could identify your feelings. I am really drained this week. I seem to fight a cold and a tummy bug. So I feel crappy physically. However, I am thankful for a lot of things inside. The last 3 weeks have not been easy for me as I could feel a depressive phase. I am fighting off hopeless thoughts with God’s truth and try not to take myself too seriously. Yet I feel lonely and I ache inside. Good that Jesus knows and HE can take this and can take me. I am praying for HIM to heal the imbalance in my brain. yeah so that is how I am doing today. love you and wish you a great rest of the week