There are days when I stop and realize Emma is talking to me in sentences. It blows me away. I can’t believe she has grown up to be…well, older. I have a hard time seeing her eating with a fork and spoon when I remember her- seriously it was yesterday- not eating solid foods.
It’s a heart-wrenching-ly wonderful thing to watch your babe grow up. More on the heart-wrenching I think for moms. More exciting and wonderful for dads. There is that needy-ness we women have and it’s completely and perfectly full-filled when your babe wants you and only you. You tell others ‘I’m sorry’ as you steal them back but inside you’re SO happy that no-one else can calm and satisfy her/him like you. Their mommy. I remember loving that my job was being Emma’s rescuer. I would save her from the evil twangs of hunger, the scary pinching ladies who always wore too much perfume or the owie she would give herself with her fingers.
And now I feel like a rudder- like on a boat. She’s the boat and even though she’s full steam ahead I still have the controls to move her in certain directions. She is so strong willed and independent. I guess God heard my prayers! LOL
I dream of the days or even nights, when it was just her and me quiet, alone and snuggling. I miss her baby smell and weird snorting sounds she made. Why didn’t I record them?! Man mommy-hood is hard. And I’m just talking about the emotions alone! And heck, I’ve only had to endure it for 2 1/2 yrs so far!
I have so many hopes for her and at times I feel like my emotions will make me blow up. Or just seep out from my eyes. I know that Trav and I feel so incredibly lucky to be given her. Thank you God for thinking it right to put Emma in our family- I couldn’t imagine life without her.