Interpersonal Thoughts

God has recently shown me areas where I desperately need His help and especially His healing hand. In a sick way, I feel real and normal. I guess I can express it in some ways like this:

Change will always come and sit with me and what I need to decide is how to respond. I can resist, be hurt or I can grapple with what needs to change in me and forge ahead.

In regards to my healing, Ripping off a band aid always stings…and I hate it when it stick to the hair on my arms. Ouch. Yet sometimes, air needs to dry it out.


These areas in myself are always in my thoughts and I struggle with either pulling them too close and drowning in my own self inflicted pain OR push them away and live in denial. Not a good thing either.  Many people at our church would call that a double bind. Damed if you do, damned if you don’t. Besides, having these areas of insecurity, hurt, ect. doesn’t allow me to give all of myself to the people God has called me to. The last thing I want to be is egocentric.  So, which is the better for me… and also others?…kinda an obvious answer. I think it’s time I rip off bandages that, as a young child, I have camouflaged as part of my skin. The reality is that my wounds are in fact infecting my body and hurting those closest to me.

I am also writing this to give me some  ‘umph’ to join a group we have at church. It’s called Tangled Relationships. I hope to enjoy it and have this help me in some well… relational areas. Duh. haha

I think this is why I so desire Spring. The time for new growth and breaking new ground.


* If you don’t know me by now, you need to know I struggle with being way too compartmental. Had to say that before switching subjects so quickly from something deep and emotional for me to something seemingly shallow.

March 3rd was National Peanut Butter Lover’s Day. I LOVE peanut butter (thank goodness they have it in Krakow!! Woot woot!) and even though I didn’t celebrate it on it’s due day…I will be celebrating tomorrow. 🙂 By making tons of treats, PB&J for lunch also a Thai Peanut Chicken dish. 🙂 Pictures to follow, of course, and I also hope to draft a couple blogging friends to do it with me. We’ll see how it goes with such short notice.

Peace out my peeps!

Breath of fresh air- from Turkey

~Yesterday we had a friend speak at our church. He’s a friend that we relate well with and love his family. Both our families seem to be cut from the same cloth. And best of all- he just so happens to also be a missionary to Turkey. He’s our age and has a similar view on the world. When you find those people, you seem to latch yourselves onto them and feed off similar opinions. Kinda sick really, but it’s the truth.

Anyways, as he spoke and gave his little message, I was stuck with not exactly what he was saying (although everyone is saying it was incredible. go here to see it) My calling to be a missionary to Poland was rekindled or renewed or something like those two words. Don’t get me wrong though, I have never doubted that God has called me and Travis to Cracow…it’s just that sometimes it can get stale. You know?

It’s like when you meet your new love and everything is roses and shmoozing. (yes I made that word up) But after a while your relationship gets into a rut. Not horrible, just life. That is the best way I can explain how I’m feeling with Poland. I’m excited but it’s a little stale. (or was until last night) Like a pretty bright colored dress that fades slowly with the sun rays of paperwork and just daily routine. Well, as I was listening I was greatly encouraged to hear and see an actually person who sees the world the same way Trav and I see it.  Someone who would and did move across the world to live in a different culture and learn a new language. Why? Becaues he loves the people and because God called their family. It’s just different you know? I have tons of great friends, but when they find out we are moving next year to be missionaries, they look at you differently and when I talk about the frustrations with work, church and whatever it’s not understood because I see things slightly warped. I know, however, that they love me and I seriously love them. Please understand that. It will break my heart to say good-bye to them.

But last night I witnessed someone who sees the world differently than most express a radical lifestyle, and he touched and challenged them with his words of passion. I am glad we have them in our lives and have a family that we can relate on pretty much every level. Thanks God for them, they are such a comfort.