hard day today

Had a really hard day today. It seemed like there were ups and downs… but more downs than ups. Emotional. I feel myself wanting to raise that protective wall and not let things, people or emotions hurt me. As if they haven’t so far. They have to in order for me to want to put up that familiar wall.

I must say to family that I am well and so is Emma and Travis. I am just realizing some areas in my life that need serious TLC. The way my wounds are affecting others makes me sad, frustrated and over all out of control. Which is the truth but now I am just accepting it.

Denial is a beautiful thing until you see it’s wake.

I think this picture is a perfect example of how I’m feeling. It seems that my cargo of past wounds, patterns and roots of issues are now not allowing me to do what I am made to do.

Which I need to daily remember. I am called to encourage, smile, listen actively, love, challenge people, teach, speak out and be confident in my ability to hear God.

I would appreciate your prayers. Right now I’m about to leave for our college group and have dinner and a movie. We’ll see how long Emma lasts.