family & food

God has recently shown me areas where I desperately need His help and especially His healing hand. In a sick way, I feel real and normal. I guess I can express it in some ways like this:

Change will always come and sit with me and what I need to decide is how to respond. I can resist, be hurt or I can grapple with what needs to change in me and forge ahead.

In regards to my healing, Ripping off a band aid always stings…and I hate it when it stick to the hair on my arms. Ouch. Yet sometimes, air needs to dry it out.

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These areas in myself are always in my thoughts and I struggle with either pulling them too close and drowning in my own self inflicted pain OR push them away and live in denial. Not a good thing either.  Many people at our church would call that a double bind. Damed if you do, damned if you don’t. Besides, having these areas of insecurity, hurt, ect. doesn’t allow me to give all of myself to the people God has called me to. The last thing I want to be is egocentric.  So, which is the better for me… and also others?…kinda an obvious answer. I think it’s time I rip off bandages that, as a young child, I have camouflaged as part of my skin. The reality is that my wounds are in fact infecting my body and hurting those closest to me.

I am also writing this to give me some  ’umph’ to join a group we have at church. It’s called Tangled Relationships. I hope to enjoy it and have this help me in some well… relational areas. Duh. haha

I think this is why I so desire Spring. The time for new growth and breaking new ground.

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* If you don’t know me by now, you need to know I struggle with being way too compartmental. Had to say that before switching subjects so quickly from something deep and emotional for me to something seemingly shallow.

March 3rd was National Peanut Butter Lover’s Day. I LOVE peanut butter (thank goodness they have it in Krakow!! Woot woot!) and even though I didn’t celebrate it on it’s due day…I will be celebrating tomorrow. By making tons of treats, PB&J for lunch also a Thai Peanut Chicken dish. Pictures to follow, of course, and I also hope to draft a couple blogging friends to do it with me. We’ll see how it goes with such short notice.

Peace out my peeps!

The dragon is a napkin holder…interesting and very artistic. The other picture is of a new scarf. Some last minute things before we leave. Pack everything. Harder than it sounds. Calling taxi’s, meeting with friends, playing with play dough with Emma, calling the landlord, etc.

Emma got a pair of shoes a couple days ago. We were getting back from Wrocław and Emma was really fussy. We went through Galleria and decided to just have dinner there- food always makes Emma a happier person. It took forever for the food to arrive so Emma and I went to surrounding shops to distract Emma walk around. We entered a shoe shop and she went crazy! She was so excited to see colorful shoes that she immediately wanted to take her boots off and try some on. She kept holding up her feet and asking, ‘help, help?’ I was shocked, this was the first time she really showed her preference for shoes. So I bought the cheapest pair and she was beaming I tell you carrying her shoes to the counter. She couldn’t wait to show daddy too. They’re pretty cute if I do say so myself.

This is in one of the surrounding parks by the square. Trav took this and I think it’s absolutely beautiful.

We are leaving at 5am tomorrow morning and will first be flying to Warsaw-stay there 5 hours (oh yuck) then flying to Chicago (9 hours-not bad) then to Portland. *sigh It will be a long day. Would appreciate your prayers.

We went out today and it was cold. We went to the old Jewish district in Krakow. It is in Schindler’s List and unfortunately the massacre did really happen there.  The buildings are beautiful and even though you begin to stop feeling your legs, hands and nose it really takes your breath away. The beauty, not the low temps. (but I’m such a weeny. really.)

Taadaaa! Here we are freezing our tushes off.

We were waiting for the light rail. Yes it was cold, but it is during these times that I thank God that Emma is like Travis. She seems to always be warmer than me so I don’t have to worry too much. What can I say, I’m always the extreme. Our flat is just down the street to the left, about 200 meters. We are so lucky to be near a tram stop. Most people are bundled just like me. However they’re hats and scarfs all match. I even saw girls in SHORTS with dark tights on. Yes, in like 3′F weather. Bold and daring. Me, not so much. Pants all the way, and I won’t mention the fleece pants I’m wearing right now. (Oh so attractive - not) Peace out peeps!

OK, really quick before Emma freaks out in Trav’s lap and screams bloody murder. That’s just what we would need…

It’s been snowing here all day, but the light dry kind. It’s cold here too. 18′F We’re bumddled up though and once you get used to the cold it’s not so bad. You just learn to love snuggies. (Brandon where is mine you promised me for Christmas!?)

We used the WIFI here to look at some possible flats here for rent. There are a couple that are really nice. Emma though is not doing well and her time is just about up. We’ve bribed stuffed her with french fries and soft serve ice cream from McDonalds. The rhythm of our daily schedule is showing us how much slower things will be like for us here. It will definatly be an adjustment. But it is good and insightful. I have a new found respect for Kerstin, The Balons, Robyn and Katie.

We’re having a couple come up from Nowy Targ with their daughter to stay with us for a night. It should be nice. I think we’ll see some of the city with them, then have a nice quiet WARM night.

Well, I think that’s it for now. If you have any questions just ask. I promise we will post more when we move here. It really sucks being out of the loop of the world for days on end. We just found out about the earthquakes in Haiti. What the heck?! It’s horrible. Anyhoo, I’m also dying inside because I can’t post any pictures. I wish I could…but when we live here we’ll be able to. Promise. OK, that’s all. Peace out my peeps.

We are feeling less like visitors staying in someone’s home and beginning to see what it will be like for us to live here. It is exciting and a little nervous. We’re using our polish as much as we can though, and speaking it a lot more in our home. It’s growing my courage enough to order cheese from the grocery lady by myself. A lot of giggling and pointing on my part and smiles on hers; so gracious. People here are SO nice and are patient with us. I’m noticing that I speak a lot quieter when I’m unsure if I’m saying the right thing and what I need to do is just boldly speak it out. Oh well, there’s always tomorrow. We’re staying in a little comfortable flat that is 50 sq. meters. I could get used to living in a smaller place, it’s just nicer, cozier…who said bigger is better?! For diner I made one of Travis’ favorite Polish soups. Zurek, a salty soup that has sausage and hard boiled eggs. We had it with grilled cheese (gouda) sandwiches. Yummy, and great on a cold day. We already had pirogi on the first day (my favorite). I know a lot of you told me to take pictures of the foods here and I promise to start- tomorrow.

As we landed at the airport, we saw snow everywhere. It’s so beautiful and not too cold, although today there was a wind and nobody likes that. I dressed Emma up like an abominable snowman, er I mean snow baby. Some observations: When a faster person is walking behind someone who is slower, the slow person stands to the side and lets the fast person pass. Common courtesy. Not too common in Gresham, it’s nice. In the grocery stores (I’m buying all our food and am enjoying it!) There are no shortages of packets. They like their packets of soup, mixes, spices, marinades and everything else you could want. It’s incredible and I always smile when I pass the walls of packets. They do have peanut butter (a favorite of mine) but it’s a little expensive. I’m sitting at a mall with free wifi but it won’t allow uploads…horrible! I took pictures of the flat and I guess you’ll see them later. We’ll find a place that allows it-I hope.

The kitchen is nice, and I’m realizing that I don’t really need a dishwasher. It’s not a hassle for me to hand wash everything, but I’ve only been here for a short while- we’ll see. I am dependant on ovens though. While ‘living’ here it will prove to be a challenge to cook everything on a stovetop. But, as Travis says, I like that challenge and it hasn’t proven to be an obstacle yet. Emma is L-O-V-I-N-G all the time and attention from daddy. I could get used to him not working and staying with us all day…well maybe. I must say that my butt is being kicked by jet lag. Man, I want to pass out around 10am and then 3pm…I took naps with Emma today and it saved my life. Literally people. I’m frustrated by the lack of wifi. I would be posting everyday if I could. Sorry about that. We’re meeting with a missionary tomorrow at a coffee shop Coffee Heaven (which is far better than any Starbucks). We’ll be visiting friends in a nearby town from Friday to Saturday. They have a little girl and I know Emma and Esterka will love each other.

***On the flight over, Emma slept and didn’t yell once. She showed all those people who gave us the evil eye, as we boarded, that they were wrong. Hah, so there. (tongue sticking out) I was praying like nuts that she would do fine. The flight from Chicago to Krakow was 9 hrs 30 min. She is getting used to the time change, and I think she’ll be fine in a couple days. OK, people, time to go to bed- it’s 9:30 and Trav is a walking zombie, Emma is stalling with her toy laptop (what a savior mom!) and I’m finishing this. Dowidenzia!

Yeah, I know, it’s been a while since I last posted. There just seems to be so much happening that it seems overwhelming to try and tell/show it to you. I’ll do it this way.

I’M HOPING: to get all that needs to be done before we fly to Poland Monday.  4 days left and counting. Me stressed? No, more like FREAKING OUT. But Travis is being so wonderful and supportive…even when I got sick yesterday and got nothing big accomplished.

I’M PRAYING: that Emma will be either totally doped up on baby benadryl or sleeping her butt off on the airplane the entire way to Krakow. ‘Freaking out’ about this doesn’t come close to how I’m feeling. “no!” is her favorite word and well…she’s entered her 2′s. I’ll just say that.

I’M THANKFUL: to my wonderful hubby. He has been really supportive and encouraging even though he has been getting no sleep. Love you babe.

*also, Brandon and Becky- I love you forever for watching our house/cats for 3 weeks- you’re wonderful!!!

I’M LOOKING FORWARD TO: being in Krakow again and seeing friends…and just…being there. I miss the feeling of that city.

I’VE GOT TO SUCK IT UP: and just be ok sounding stupid at first, while I’m learning Polish. Ugh.

I’M IN LOVE WITH: my new Kindle.

I’ve been into this series…pre-teen at heart.

I SPLURGED: and made my favorite comfort food for lunch… Just noodles, c. of mush and cheddar cheese. It makes the world a better place.

I HAD A GREAT SURPRISE: Travis surprised me and took me to Levenworth for 3 days before Christmas. I was wonderful.

I’VE LEARNED: life is too short to always be freaking out. So I’ve dedicated Saturday to do Emma and my pedicures and manicures.

I SAW: an amazing movie and want to see it in 3-D SO badly.

I AM: leaving now to change a poopy diaper. Peace out